lylith_st | I need your opinion for a serious problem

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I need your opinion for a serious problem

Hi people, I need advice so feel free to give me your opinion about my problem. You know I’m Spanish and my English sucks so forgive all the mistakes I’m going to do because it’s hard to explain that in my non-natural language.

Here we go.

The parent’s of one of my best friend bought a house in another town some years ago and they’re going to live there very soon so my friend will have the flat where they live now all for her. She needs to share the flat to pay the rent (very low rent but still) and she told me if I want to live with her and possibly another girl/guy. I said yes the first time she told me about it because it was al before we discover my father’s cancer. Yesterday she told me that the new house is ready for her parent to live and she will have the flat for us very soon if I’m still interested. She don’t push me or something like that, she just asked me if now I want to live with her known how the thing are going on my family, and if I don’t she will be fine with it. I told her that I’m not sure and that I will tell her something this week.

I’m not sure. I think (and my friends think the same) that I really need a change in my life. I can barely sleep because of my anxiety and I feel like crying all the day, which it sucks because I really HATE to cry. But I don’t know how my parents are going to take it. My father has so much mood swing that I really want to slap him or hug him from a minute to other. Once he told to me and my sister “I can’t wait for the day you two leave this place”, but he was angry and I (think) know that he didn’t want that.

So I don’t know what to do. I will try to talk with my mother tomorrow when we are alone to see what she thinks.

What should I do?

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Talking it out with your mother would be the best thing to do for now, and if she agrees it would be okay, then maybe you can ask her to help you approach your father about it. That way you don't face him and his reaction alone.

I hope they're okay with it, because moving away from my family has helped me tremendously. I'm much more myself, and happier.

I hope it too. The thing is that I'm not sure myself. Let's hope for the better

thanks <3

My father also had cancer and from a person who has dealt with the horrors of something like that, I really think that you should go live with your friend. I know you would be away from you father, but you can always drive to see him and still be a huge support to him. You do need to live your life, as harsh as it might sound. You can always visit a lot and it will be like you have never left. (And you'll have fun with your friend). The good thing is, you can always move back into the house if you really want to. But, its whatever you think would be best and would make YOU happy.

our homes aren't that far away so no need to drive. You're right about that, I can always come back.

Thanks a lot for your support dear. At least someone understand my situation *hugs*

Your welcome.
Anything I can do to help.

:3

Maybe you should give it a go - if it doesn't work you could always move back home. But you know best hon, talking to your mother sounds like a good idea.

Yes, let's see how it goes

thanks dear <3

A change of air may be good. Is the flat far from your home? If it's not the case, you still can go to your parents' home easily when you want to. You'll be still with them, but you'll be 'more free'
As said before, talk to it with your mom.

Not is not very far away, 10-15 minutes walking so I'm pretty near. I will try that.

Thanks!

yes... talk to your mom.... that's the best to do...
*glomp*

I will do that

*gomlps back*

thanks

good

*gives candy*

I completely sympathize with your situation, having been through something similar. Speaking from experience, I think moving away from your parents and then visiting them improve your relationship with them. I think it's a good idea to move out and stretch your wings a little. But, of course, you must do what you feel works best for you.

thnaks for you support dear. It helps me to talk with people who know how I feel. I will give it a try, tomorrow I will talk to my mother. I can always come back to home after all.

Honey, I also think you need this change. Your family need you, of course, but you'll still be there for them and I think that a bit of distance may improve your relationship with them. And of course you really should talk about your decision with your parents, so they won't feel hurt. *hugs*

I htink you're right. I really need this but I'm not sure who my father is going to deal with it. Oh well, tomorrow I will try to talk to my mum

thankies! <3

When I moved away. I'm youngest of the family and my dad didn't like at all (We had huge fight about it). But now that I live at my own. Me and my dad get so much better along, we never have been this close as we are now.

And there are times when you have to think. What YOU want. You have to selfish sometimes, it's hard. But you can never live your life if you only think ohters.

I know it feels wrong and nobody wants hurt the once they love. But if you only focus on ohters you have nohting for yourself.

And maybe you even have more energy for your dad I you don't see him all the time. Then you can take his moodswings better.

But talk to your mom and maybe you should also talk to your dad.

Dads are always like that.

Good luck!

You're right, and yes I know you live in your own house. You're really brave.

All it's a bit..sad and scary. Let's see how it goes

thansk dear <3

Soy Len!!! Yo pienso igual, q quizas necesitas un cambio, para ver las cosas desde otra perspectiva. Quizas si te creas tu propio espacio, cuando vayas a ver a tus padres el ambiente sera diferente, habra menos tension, y podras disfrutar del tiempo con ellos en vez de discutir y vivir malos momentos.

Ayuda mucho tener un sitio que no tiene nada que ver con los problemas familiares, para pensar, y descansar, y calmarte.

Recuerda q los Vigatans postizos estamos aqui pa lo ke sea!

JAJJA Vigatans postizos..pue ssi

Ya, lo se, pero es..complicado. Mañana intentaré hablar ocn mi madre a ver que tal :/

Me da todo un poco de yuyu -_-

I've been thinking about moving out too, I want to be free from my family and live on my own, but I'm only 17... And I don't really have a good income at the moment. I want privacy, but at the same time I think I'm not ready for it yet...

Same too me, part of other problems. But old enough.

Sigh. Why life is always so complicated?

Oh, that is a tough decision. I agree with talking with your mom to see where things stand first, and then going from there. It might be best to move out but it does come down to what you feel most comfortable with. Having a little distance might help you deal with everything that is going on, and make you feel better able to help out because you are not constantly being worn down by being in the middle of everything that is going on. A little distance can be a good thing.

*hugs* Good luck with whatever decision you make!

I will wait a bit for now, at least until the doctors decide the new treatment for my father. it's better explained in my new entry. Thank you for you support dear <3 I need it

I agree with some of the others. Talking to your mom would be the best palce to start. I think it would help you a lot to be out on your own and away from the day to day. You have to think about what's best for YOU sometimes, too. Now is the best time to start.

Anyway, I hope everything works out for the best.

thank you dear. That' help me a lot <3

mmm deberias hacerlo, es malo quedarse en un lugar en el cual te sientes mas, podrias ayudar mas a tu familia si es que no tienes tanto stress encima.
Ya que cuando los visites te sentirias mas relajada, tampoco debes sentirte mas por dejarlos el alejamiento es inevitable. Una prima mia tiene cancer terminal, el resto de la la familia hace lo posible para sacar a sus hijas (aun menores de edad) de la su casa cada cierto tiempo. Ayuda a que no esten tan estresados y regresen pues, extranhando a su madre.

no te conozco bien, ni se la verdadera situacion, esto es algo que solo sabe quien lo vive, pero aun asi, como otra cosa no, pero los consejos por ahora son gratis, yo lo hablaria trankilamente con ellos.

Cuando nos enfadamos, todos decimos tonterias, asi que yo no le echaria mucha cuenta a lo que tu pradre dice sobre que quiere que os vayais...aun asi, es ley de vida. Tienes que hacer tu vida o intentarlo al menos, asi que te apoyo en tu decision de independizarte.
Irte de casa, no significa que no vuelvas a ir, sobretodo yo les dejaria eso claro, que seguiras siendo su hija y tal.

SUERTE!
(por cierto....se admiten okupas? jijijijiji)

jejeje bueno mi amiga necesita otra incilina. O dos, pq al final he decidido pensémelo un poquito más y esperar a que nos digan el nuevo tratamiento que lw darán a mi padre en Marzo. Asih

gracias pro todo! <3

Maybe you should give it a go for a week or something. See how living alone feels... if it works, then stay and visit your dad everyonce in a while... if it doesn't, well at least you knew you tried.

Yeah, wachey basically stole the words from my mouth, discuss it with your mother and see what she thinks of the idea -she may even have a idea how you can talk to your dad about it, one you dont think of yourself.
I hope you get everything worked out ^^
*hug attack*

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